I first heard of Nicole Dollanganger from reading about the murder of 17 year old Bianca Devins
in July 2019. Bianca attanded a Nicole Dollanganger concert only hours before she died. I don't
know why I cared so much about what concert she went to,
but I decided to try to listen to Dollanganger myself. At fist I only listened to
a couple of her most famous songs, like "Ugly", "Please Eat",and
"Coma Baby". It wasn't until October 2019 that I really started to pick up
on listening to her. At the time I was struggling with depression, anorexia and
insomnia, her songs helped me through it and many times I'd listen to her as I
fell asleep. She ended up becoming one of my most played artists of
2019 even though I started listening to her so late.
What I find so interesting with her music, and what got me into her in the first place is her way
of putting feelings into words using morbid pictures. As someone who's always
been interested in horror stories and gore (fictional), the messed
up reality that some live in, I was drawn to the gruesome lyrics she writes.
That she's not scared to be too much, too gross, seem too out of her mind. I've always
wanted to write like her. But between poems about peeling off my skin
and falling to the ground scraping my knees, I haven't really achieved
anything like this. I always feel like there's a piece missing, but I don't know what.
Embarrassing Love Songs released in 2013, of course referencing
the 1995 movie Welcome To The Dollhouse.
I watched this movie recently, it took me a while, and I really liked
it, but i can tell that it’s not something for everyone.
It’s dark, it’s sad, and it doesn’t get better.
Lyrics I love:
- Through your scalp I would like to reach in
So I could pull out the monster you've been
(Coma Baby)
- The skin parted like petals
On blossoming flowers
We pressed the cuts together
Became one and another
(Blood Brothers)
- And I will never be able to love you
I couldn't if I tried
And I will lie down next to you
But I fear a dead body would
feel warm compared to mine
(Barren)
- Find no love in flesh but only weapons
The ones that do the most damage
There is no peace in life, but only death
If I believe good wombs have borne bad sons
Then I have no qualms using my gun
I only love the things that I can hurt
(Lividity)
- The books, sad songs, and cinemas
They all lied lied lied
Why didn't anyone tell me
Love is like being fucked with a knife?
(Flowers of Flesh and Blood)
- It's not your body that I love
But it's the shell you're inside of
And you're killing it, you're killing
The only piece of you I can touch
It's not your body that I need
But that's what sleeps next to me
And you're killing it, you're killing it
You're killing it
Please eat
(Please eat)
- My bedroom smells like rotten food
And I guess so do I
It's harder to be good in here
Than it is to starve and die
(Angels of Porn)
- All the pets I've buried
Just wanted me to know
Sometimes it's okay
To let a good thing go
(Please Just Stay Dead)
