how I've lost every last drop of sweetness.

"you are nobody, you don't matter, give up your soul!"

On winters we’d have the boat in our backyard and sometimes me and my friends
would climb up on the deck and sneak in there and read stories to each other.
It was so cold, freezing, but we’d still sit there, with jackets and
blankets and books. We never talked about what was going on with our lives, instead
we’d dive into the other worlds, where we could solve crimes
and fight dragons, go on adventures in farawayland and meet the love of our
lives, we were someone else for a little while. That was how I escaped, through books, I used
to have my whole bookshelf filled with books i loved, but now I’ve thrown away most of them.

he punched his clasping fist against the wall, and blood started gushing out.
i heard the glass break on the floor, again and again.
i would have earplugs by the side of my bed
that my mum gave me, like it was nothing,
so that i at least could
try to sleep at night.